Last night I met some fellow students at a coffeehouse so we could discuss a project. We sat there for about three hours, just talking about ourselves and comparing interests. The guy in the group is of the quiet, cynical type, and the girl is very friendly and wise beyond her years. They get along perfectly. I mean, I get along with most people I meet, at least at first. Getting to know people excites me. I enjoy conversation. However, I could not help but feel like the oddball during those three hours.

Early on in the conversation, we figured out that both he and she are left-brained people. They are very logical and love numbers and do math for fun. For him, writing in an expressive manner is like scraping his nails across a chalkboard. For her, even looking at a page of text makes her cringe. Besides that, they both have a history of drug use and a fondness for hallucinogens, when I’ve never used drugs and have no particular desire to. It was really interesting to listen to them talk because they understood each other so well - and though I felt I understood them, I felt like they were barely wrapping their heads around anything I was saying.

I feel like I don’t fit in anywhere!

Where are all the people who like to read books? Where are all the people who like to dissect movies and their meanings? Where are all the people who love classical art? Where are all the open-minded and equally rational right-brained people? Where are all the people who don’t do drugs? Where are all the people who don’t ask you who your dealer is? Where are all the people who are opinionated without being intimidating and judgmental? Where are all the people who know who Emily and Charlotte Bronte are?

She asked me what books I liked, and when I told her I’d just read Jane Eyre and really loved it, she didn’t know what I was talking about. I mentioned Wuthering Heights to help, but that wasn’t ringing any bells. I realize not everyone knew who Heathcliff was starting at age 12, but… COME ON.

I seriously felt like I was taking crazy pills.
 

Driving home, I reflected on how strange it is that I fit in so little with these perfectly nice people. They speak one language, and I speak another. It was also strange realizing that I’m very, very happy with who I am. I don’t have to drop acid to be sure of that. Jesus.

I am in need of friends. Friends who read books once in a while.

3 notes | | Feb 17, 2012
  1. monkeypuppet posted this